Smoke and Embers

I inhale, it lights up

Not red

Not burnt orange

A bright orange light

Under a dull Orange

Under a grey orange

I inhale, it lights up

A roll of smoke releases

It weans off

Waiting for another release

I inhale, it lights up

I release

I watch the embers glow

The smoke

Winding around the air

Winding around my air

I inhale, it lights up

A roll of relief

I let go

Waiting for my next release

©Droplets of My Ocean

Advertisements

7pm

It doesn’t just hit you

It sneaks in.

You’re walking and thinking

Then thinking too much

Then you’re thinking about putting stones in your pockets

Then you think of pills

And bathtubs

Knives and ropes

You have to force yourself away

Force yourself to think about a light that you can’t see.

Force yourself to stay alive.

This does not feel like living.

©Droplets of my Ocean

3am and I’m tired

People ask how my pain is.

They ask how if I’m still off my pain killers.

They don’t ask how I keep myself from drowning in a bath at 3am when everybody is asleep.

People say how great I’m doing.

They say I’m strong.

They don’t see the scars or my broken wine glass.

They don’t see the tears or hear the sobs.

I am strong and that is all they need to know.

All they want to know.

©Droplets of My Ocean

Seed searching for sun

Are my opinions my own?

Did you put them there?

After years of thought and reading

I wonder, am I even myself

Or a reflection of you?

The seed you sewed so willingly

Is now alive

Alive and worried about being your seed

I doubt the other seeds worry

They look to you like the sun

I still search for mine

©Droplets of My Ocean

Badumph

Pump pump pump

Badumph badumph badumph

Shakey brain

Shakey hands

Badumph badumph badumph

You took my day away from me

Badumph badumph badumph

You’ll take Sunday away from me too

Badumph badumph badumph

Pump pump pump

Shakey body

Shakey mind

Thank you

©Droplets of My Ocean